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Don’t blame the lettuce. What? Earlier this week, I was in my local book store poking around in the books on a table at the back of the store, and I came across Thich Nhat Hanh’s book Peace Is Every Step. I picked it up, opened it at page 78 and started to read
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look into reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.
Since I’m an avid gardener, this caught my eye. It’s true. I don’t blame a plant when it doesn’t grow well. Why would I? It’s also true that blaming family and friends when I have a problem doesn’t help much either. Hanh’s got that right!
If a plant isn’t thriving, I examine it carefully to determine its needs and then change the care I have been giving it so that it can grow well. Sometimes I water it more; sometimes I water it less. Sometimes I even change its location. I do everything in my power to help it thrive. I certainly don’t blame it.If students aren’t thriving, I try to do the same thing. I try to determine their needs and then give them the care that is necessary for them to thrive. I try not to blame them. Blaming doesn’t help. Kids and plants- for me it’s the same thing.
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10 Responses to “Don’t Blame the Lettuce-Blaming Doesn’t Help”
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Toronto Reading Council
Hi Elona. I came across this really interesting article that relates to what your talking about here. The way we must look to ourselves to help others. It’s a little “out there” but nontheless it portrays a very important message. Hope you enjoy it.
Jason, thanks for the heads up on the really interesting article. All I can say is…..I don’t know what to say. It is really “out there” or according to the article “in here”. I believe that if we change ourselves, we begin to change others. But I thought of it more as a ripple effect- you know over a long time. It’s kind of scary too because, according to the article, if we can effect good changes we can effect bad changes.
[...] Great advice from Elona about taking responsibility: Don’t Blame the Lettuce. She’s a teacher dealing with kids most at risk of dropping out of school, and her experiences are both riveting and inspiring. She’s doing good work [...]
Thanks for the encouragement.
This is maybe my favorite of your posts. What a beautiful, simple, clear idea. And I love the post’s title.
Wonderful article I couldn’t have said it better. And I am printing it off to show the teachers at my son’s school as I commented on his heavey load of homework and got a blaming statement from them that the answer was he was not working. Let’s take this negative,primitive power pushing means of communication out of our vocabulary and jointly as parents and teachers find solutions for student’s weaknesses and work together. Gail
Thank you, Gail. I’m delighted that you want to share the article. I hope it is useful.
[...] expertise is exhausted, I fall back on my considerable gardening expertise . (I’ve talked here about the usefulness of my gardening philosophy in my classroom [...]
[...] the rest of Ms. Hartjes’ post. Link to “Don’t Blame the Lettuce.” For those who are not familiar with Ms. [...]
John,
Thank you so much for your link to my post. I’m delighted that you enjoyed my article and that you shared it with your readers.