Oct
20
” All my teachers hate me.” I can’t begin to tell you how many times students have told me this. While it may be true that these students try the patience of their teachers, I doubt very much that all their teachers hate them. Why? Because, teenagers are not good at reading the facial expressions and often think that adults are mad at them when the adults aren’t.
I show my students a video about the teenage brain. It is, in fact, called “The Teenage Brain”, and I got it on line from PBS. ( Wait a minute, I just remembered that I lent it to someone and haven’t got it back yet. It’s a great video. I better track it down.) The kids like watching it, and I like showing it. It generates lots of discussion. I especially like the part in the video where it shows teenagers looking at pictures of adults and being asked to read the different expressions on the adults’ faces.
The results were very interesting. The teenagers often misread the expressions on the faces of adults and thought the adults were angry when they were not. Given what so many of the students I see tell me, this make sense. The students are misreading the expressions on their teachers faces , never mind the vice-principals’ faces, and think that the teachers hate them. I’ve tried talking to them about this, but they don’t seem to get it. They tell me, “No really Miss, all my teachers hate me.”
The video suggests they see it this way because their brains haven’t developed fully. Their brains aren’t mature enough yet. My apologies to any expert who may be reading this and is cringing at my simplistic explanation, but I think you get the point. Not only is it that my learning disabled and at risk students can’t read text books well, they can’t read faces well either. Bless them. No wonder they have problems with school.
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3 Responses to “l Can’t Read Faces. All My Teachers Hate Me.”
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Stumble It!

As a parent, what should you do if you think a teacher really does hate certain children. I am getting consistent feedback from all of the boys in a certain class. Along with reports of some outrageous and hurtful comments. Any ideas short of going after this woman’s job?
[...] Earlier I wrote a post about the difficulty teenagers have in reading the expressions on adults faces. It’s been my experience teaching teenagers that they often think that their teachers hate them when this is not the case. But what if it is the case that the teacher really does hate some kids? It does happen, unfortunately. [...]
Thanks for your question, Kathy. It’s a difficult one. I’ve given some suggestions in today’s, Nov. 20, post.
What To Do If You Think Your Child’s Teacher Really Hates Some Kids.
Earlier I wrote a post about the difficulty teenagers have in reading the expressions on adults faces. It’s been my experience teaching teenagers that they often think that their teachers hate them when this is not the case. But what if it is the case that the teacher really does hate some kids? It does happen, unfortunately.
What are parents to do when they suspect a teacher is treating students unfairly or discriminating against them? As a parent my first reaction is to want it to go in there and tear off the teachers head or at least give the teacher a piece of my mind telling her or him how dare they do whatever…. But, that may not be the most useful way of doing things. My first instincts are not always the most useful. Let the system work for you. it does work. You just have to be persistent.
First, I think it would be useful to have a meeting with the teacher to find out how things are going for your child in the teacher’s class. Just call and make an appointment to talk to the teacher face to face. Face to face is better because it helps eliminate misunderstandings that could arise over the phone. If you feel uncomfortable going to the meeting alone, take someone else along for moral support or someone who has more experience in this area. I’ve been at meetings where parents have brought advocates. I think that’s a good idea. At the meeting, ask what you can do to help your child be more successful at home and what the teacher will do to help your child be more successful at school. Get details and write them down as you formulate your action plan. Tell the teacher you’ll call in about a week to see how things are going. (You could volunteer to help out if you are free during the day. That’s a good way to see what’s going on.) Keep in constant contact. Keep in constant contact. I can’t emphasize this enough. Write everything down and date it. Create a paper trail. If you are still unhappy with what goes on in the classroom , then meet with the principal and take your paper trail along with you. Give the principal a chance to get involved and see what happens. If things are still not resolved then move your concern up the ladder to the next position of responsibility. Some parents have to take their concerns right to the top. Don’t be afraid to do this. There’s too much at stake. In our board board, we have elected trustees who advocate for parents and students. Get in touch with them someone as well. It’s their job to help you. That’s why they got elected.
If a teacher is treating a group of kids unfairly, parents could get together as a group and take their concerns to the principal. Parents have a lot of power. More than they realize. Be assertive. It’s not a popularity contest. The principal wants teachers to do a good job. They don’t want problems and it’s their job to help teachers who for whatever reason aren’t doing their jobs professionally. Like I tell my students, you don’t have to love everyone, but you have to respect them and that means treating them in a certain way.