Oct

28

You Can Only Control Your Reactions To Things

Filed Under Dealing With Stress 

I often tell my students that they cannot control what other people do or think. They can only control how they react to what other people do or think. Personally, I find it very useful to think this way because it helps me deal with things in a skillful way. I can choose to retain my equilibrium, or I can choose to loose it. It’s really up to me. I realize that when I got angry with my students yesterday because they didn’t complete the work I left them while I was at the conference I wasn’t make a skillful choice. I chose to get angry. When I really think about it, I was also choosing to be a victim. A victim? Yes, a victim. I was complaining angrily to my colleagues about the kids and what they didn’t do after all the work I did blah blah blah. This morning it dawned on me (no pun intended) that I chose to feel bent out of shape and sorry for myself. I had created these fantastic lessons and look what it got me! It really wasn’t the kids who made me angry and upset. It was me. I chose to be angry. Now, I am going to make some skillful choices: I am choosing not to be angry with my students, and I’m choosing not to be angry with myself. I am controlling what I can control- my reaction to things.

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Comments

3 Responses to “You Can Only Control Your Reactions To Things”

  1. Alvaro on November 2nd, 2006 1:45 am

    Nice post, Elona.

    Wanted to let you know we have moved to a new “home”: http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog

    See you there!

  2. neon on November 9th, 2006 10:35 am

    You have described a very good example of Law of Attraction in action :) I have realised this wonderful knowledge one month ago, that I shape my feelings and life by choosing what I want to think about. What a relief since then.

  3. Teachers At Risk » Working Hard In The Present Moment on November 9th, 2006 7:08 pm

    [...] Neon made a comment about what a relief it was to realize “that I shape my feelings and life by choosing what I want to think about.”  It is quite a relief, in fact it’s empowering.  Whenever ( well almost whenever) I start to have negative thoughts about a situation or a person, myself included, I encourage myself to let those negative thoughts fall away and choose to see things in a more positive light. I can feel angry, crummy, disappointed etc about something or I can let it go and not bring it into the present moment.  Whatever happened, has happened. It’s over. Done.  I can’t change the past. I can only affect the present moment.  I can choose to be negative in the present moment, or I can choose to be positive in the present moment.  It is a choice. Yes, it’s a choice.  But it’s not always an easy choice.  Sometimes it takes me more “present moments” than I would like it to. Why is it the case I have to work hard at being positive while I never seem to have to work hard at being negative?  If anyone has any ideas about this, I sure would appreciate hearing them. [...]

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