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Children's Mental Health Ontario
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Apr
7
The Way I See It
Filed Under Blogging in and out of the Classroom, Computers In The Classroom, The Way I See It
During the last week Ive been reading about the cyber-abuse that Kathy Sierra has experienced and listened to her talk about it in an interview. It was very disturbing. I’ve had many conversations about Kathy’s cyber-abuse and cyber-abuse in general with other bloggers. I have written about cyber- abuse in my posts “Schools need to do more to protect students from road rage on the digital highway” and Cyber-Bullying: Relational Aggression . Please read the two posts regarding my arguments and suggestions.
I have computers in my classroom and saw kids using MySpace (before it was blocked) and realized the need for us to teach kids in a systematic way about using the internet safely. I have also seen and heard the relational aggression that goes on amongst students. I have suggested that schools among other things implement a program that deals with cyber-bullying based on the program that all ready exists for bullying. I also suggested that students need to know that freedom of speech is limited by the laws prohibiting libel and slander. Kids and adults need to be absolutely clear on what is appropriate behaviour and what isn’t. Our safe school policy states
when using electronic resources students must demonstrate appropriate on-line conduct/manners and refrain from improper/unethical use of technology, including computer hacking. Internet use for any purpose which is contrary to the school’s Code of Conduct is strictly prohibited. This includes all forms of violence, threats and harassment directed at the students or school. This applies to school, work and home Internet use.
harassment and physical, verbal (oral or written) sexual or psychological abuse; bullying; or discrimination on the basis of faith, gender, socioeconomic status, ability, age, sexual orientation or any other attribute is unacceptable…
Any student who demonstrates behaviour inconsistent with Board policy or the school Code of Conduct will face consequences which may include loss of privileges, detention, community service, making restitution, suspension or full expulsion from any school in the province.
I am very much concerned about the issue of cyber-bullying and relational aggression and made suggestions to help stop the abuse and help deal with the abuse. With these thoughts and concerns and Kathy Sierra’s experience of cyber-abuse in my head , I read Miguel’s post Think Before You Post where he says:
For me, it’s a reminder that we all have to be a bit thicker-skinned when we venture out into an online world. If I post my photo online, I have to expect that it will be modified. If I share my thoughts, my hopes, my fears, I have to expect that they could be used against me.
I read the statement and concluded that the victim was being blamed because she should be thicker skinned and not bothered by whatever .She should have know better and she should have expected trouble. I said that blaming a victim for cyber-abuse reminded me of when women were blamed for being raped because they wore short skirts. The implication was that the victim was at fault because of what she did and she should have know better and she only had herself to blame.
As for Miguel’s statement about my accusation :” The accusation seemed to be working against a “straw man.” I don’t know about that. I just made a logical extension of Miguel’s argument regarding the video and went down the slippery slope with it. Look, I’m not trying to make brownie points here. I read what Miguel said and I interpreted it the way I did as a reflection of my own observations and after thinking about it further I still see it the same way.To say that someone should not feel bad when someone hurts them and then say what did you expect when you did that, is blaming the victim. At least, the way I see it.
The most important thing is that cyber-bullying and relational aggression be stopped and victims of abuse get support. That’s what I am working for. That’s what other people are working for. I have links to different support organizations in my blog roll for anyone to access. I want people to be educated about the dangers of cyber-bullying and how to protect themselves and know that if something happens they will have the emotional and legal support they need. W e are just seeing the tip of the iceberg. I recently read an estimate that predicted 80 million people will on line by 2010. I hope we have more answers by then.
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3 Responses to “The Way I See It”
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Stumble It!
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Hmm…the more I consider this, the more I’m worried that maybe I’m missing something. When we walk down the street, my wife and I point out to our 13 year old daughter what she should not wear. We encourage her to be modest in her choices of clothing. And, she is. One of the reasons we tell her is that she may attract attention from the wrong people in the way she dresses. This does not justify an attack, but you just don’t wear thong underwear and silky skirts. The wrong people may look. But, to be blunt, it doesn’t even matter, because bad things happen to good people, no matter what they do.
What about children who lack the guidance, who choose to wear clothes that attract negative attention? If they were to be assaulted, we would all be up in arms about the attack. This is true in virtual space as well.
However, if a man/woman posts images of him/herself online, then worries later about how they will be used, that’s a different story. No laws were broken by either the poster or those who view the pictures. (certainly not in this video)
I’m still not getting the connection being made between being prepared to deal with the comments regarding one’s willfully posted online images–the “thicker-skinned” remark–and the concept of blaming the victim.
In fact, the poster in the “Think Before You Post” IS NOT a victim, but rather a content producer. Her picture was not inappropriate (view the video), but she should have thought twice about posting the picture in a public place if she was going to second-guess herself later when it attracted attention. I do not see this as bullying, or cyberbullying at all. The message of the video is, Think Twice Before you post content about yourself. And, that’s a valuable lesson in itself without clouding the issue with “cyberbullying.”
These points aside, you do raise some excellent points regarding relational aggression and cyberbullying and what schools should be doing.
For many, I wonder if they are even having the conversations about what should be posted, what shouldn’t be, and the implications.
Thanks again for the conversation,
Miguel Guhlin
Around the Corner-MGuhlin.net
http://www.mguhlin.net
Miguel, I guess what it all boils down for me is that I don’t want people to get off the hook for abusing other people by saying the victims “deserved it” in some way. I hear that at school all time from the boys and the girls. Some kids have no empathy for the kids that get bullied..
Now, maybe I did take a flying leap down that slippery slope. I’m not sure. You make a good point about the message of the video and the way I interpreted what you said. If we were sitting across a table from one another, any questions about “what do you mean” could be quickly answered. When I said I thought you were blaming the victim, a lively discussion would have ensued and in short order we would have really understood one another better. But a lively discussion did take place and that’s great. You put your ideas out there, and I put my ideas out there and I think we both understand one another better. Thank you for taking the time to clarify your position.
I look forward to the discussions about the topics you invited readers to ponder. Second Life is going to raise some interesting questions that will need to be answered.
Hi..Great postings!
I am the Regional Office of Educations Internet Safety Coordinator and for the past two years, have spear-headed online safety education and awareness not only in my school, but entire region. I have developed and implemented personalized Internet Safety curriculums as well as presentations I give to parents and educators. I also write a regular column on said issues, am a mother of two teenagers, and work with over 500 children every single week in a computer lab environment.
Cyber bullying happens to be a “pet project” of mine, so I’m very interested in all the media of late. I have been working on an anti-cyber bullying policy for my school district–which I am patiently waiting on for approval(or not).
Cyber bullying, as I am sure you know, is rapidly increasing and the effects may be longer lasting than traditional bullying. This has happened to a friend of the family, actually. Alarmingly, most children do not tell a trusted adult if they have been a target, or know someone who has, and many parents are unaware of cyber bullying.
I conducted a cyber bullying poll on my blog, that had some surprising results! If you have a moment, please stop by and take a look!!
Thanks!