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One positive relationship can make a huge difference for “at-risk” students
Filed Under "At-risk" students
I’ve found that students learn best for me when I’ve been able to develop a positive relationship with them. That’s why I take the time to do that. It really pays off and takes just a few minutes each class.
It’s hardly surprising that students do better if they have a positive relationship with the teacher, I know that. But, what is surprising, for me at least, is that all it takes is one positive teacher-student relationship to make a huge difference in a student’s life, especially in the life of an “at-risk” student.
Studies have shown that the positive effects that occur when a student bonds with a teacher in a class extends to other classes as well. I guess we’ve always known this at some level because guidance counselors often try to match “at- risk” students with teachers who they are more likely to bond with.
I’ve been talking about the positive effects of teacher-student bonds, but students can and do develop relationships with other adults at school that influence them positively, too. This happens all the time. Former students and their parents have told me how something that a paraprofessional, a secretary, a lunch room supervisor , custodian ,or bus driver had said or done that influenced them in a positive way not only while they were in school but for years to come. These non-teacher relationships are is especially important for at “at-risk” students who have difficulty relating to teachers and are turned off by school.
At our weekly Student Success Committee meetings, we often suggest adult mentors for “at-risk’ kids hoping that the mentors can bond with the the students and help the student turn things around. Sometimes that mentor is a former student who himself was an “at-risk” student but was able to turn it around and be successful and now wants to help other kids do the same thing. Sometimes the mentor is a coach on an out of school sport or activity. Recently we had a boxing coach mentor one of our students. Other times it could be a family friend like the man who owned a garage and had the student work part time and help the student develop some dignity. Lots of people want to help. We just need to give them a chance.
One thing that I’ve always found a bit scary when I think about it is that you never know what you say that will help a student or the flip side of that. A few years ago, I saw a former student who was visiting the school and asked him how things were going. He told me things were great. (I hoped they were.) He told me what I had written on his report card influenced him to change his behaviour for the better. I was puzzled. What had I written on his report card that had had such a positive effect on him. This student had failed my grade 12 math class. He had given me a run for my money all right. He’s do things like pull out his Bible and read it while I was teaching the class. Then when I asked him to put it away , he’d give me attitude about it. He’d come late. He’d skip class. I just kept trying to engage him, but wasn’t being very successful. He failed my class and was not invited back to school the following year.
What had I written on his report card that influenced him so positively? He told me that I had written that I knew he could do it if he wanted to. That was it? Apparently so, because the next year he went to another school and passed his grade 12 math and now was just finishing his apprenticeship as as electrician and hoped to work for the city’s transit company. One little comment on a report card had that power. Wow!
I’ve found that students are really appreciative of the bond they have with tteachers. I had been giving academic support to a student who had profound learning disabilities. He worked really hard the four years of high school to graduate and was going to college. I watched him proudly walking across the stage to get his diploma remembering him when I first met him as a grade nine student. He had come such a long way. Later at the reception, he sought me out with his diploma in his hand and told me that half of the diploma should go to me because I’d helped him so much. Saying thank you to him hardly seemed adequate. You just never know the effect you have and what a difference it can make.
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