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Why do some students succeed despite their personal circumstances?
Filed Under Goals, motivating students
Use your strengths to help you succeed. That’s the advice I give my students when we’re talking about their future once they finish school. I let them define what success is, and then we explore ways they can achieve that success. My students have many strengths. Unfortunately, many of these strengths aren’t appreciated by the school system. To give these kids hope, I tell them about all sorts of people who struggled through school or even dropped out and went on to be successful people. Some of my students who are extremely bright and could do well in school don’t because their personal circumstances aren’t conducive to success in school. They lose heart and give up. When I read about Khadijah Williams I was blown away. What is it about Khadijah that allowed her to rise above her personal circumstances and end up getting a full scholarship to Harvard? What is it that enabled her to be so successful while others in similar circumstances are not? There are many bright kids who could earn scholarships but don’t. Who or what is making that difference?
Here’s a brief summary of Khadijah’s personal circumstances.
Williams was born to a 14-year-old mother who was estranged from her family. While Williams was growing up, her mother led her and her sister Jeanine through a series of homeless shelters around California, never staying long in any one location. Sometimes, they would have to dig through dumpsters for food, and spend their nights on the filthy streets.
Because the family moved around so frequently, Williams never had the chance to stay at one school for long. Over the course of 12 years, she attended 12 different schools, often leaving in the middle of a term when a homeless shelter shut down or refused to accommodate the family. But as early as third grade, when Williams placed in the top percentile on a state exam, she realized that she had a gift. Her brain would be her ticket out of the slums, and she didn’t want to squander the opportunity.
In fact, Khadijah has decided to mentor other students
I think about how I can convince my peers about the value of education, … I have found that after all the teasing, these peers start to respect me . . . . I decided that I could be the one to uplift my peers . . . . My work is far reaching and never finished.
Why didn’t Khadijah loose heart and give up? Why did she find ways to help herself be successful and now want to help others? Why?
photo by aloshbennett
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I personally think it is two fold. One is that she probably did not have an underlying mental illness. And second she had something I’ve come to call bounce back. The ability to hit a wall or a bad situation and keep trying again, and again, and again. I believe (no proof or data) that some of us have more of this hard wired into our brains than others. The amount of bounce back we are born with can of course be enhances or decreased either by specific exercises or life experiences. But some people’s brains are just wired with more of it than others.
What do you think?
I would guess that someone (either her parents or a teacher) gave Khadijah the encouragement that she needed to pursue her natural gifts.
Beth,
Excellent points. When I was thinking about her success, I’d forgotten about the underlying mental illness factor. If I remember correctly, about 20% of students suffer some sort of mental illness. It’s hard to bounce back when a person suffers from mental illness. As for the bounce back factor itself, I think it is mostly nature with some nurture thrown in. I don’t know for sure either, but I have noticed that even small children have differing amounts. Of course nurture could play a role there too. It’s certainly complicated. Maybe someone knows of a study that sheds light on this.
Thank you for your kind words on your blog for Khadijah and for those that have supported her. I thought you would like to know that Khadijah has enrolled in the freshman class at Harvard College and has a website to provide updates – http://www.khadijahwilliams.com.
Last week, Khadijah was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey for an episode of her show entitled, “Don’t Stop Believing.” The show will air on Friday, October 2. Please watch for Oprah’s surprise for Khadijah!
The air date for Khadijah’s interview with Oprah has been pushed back to Monday, October 5
Khadijah is an excelent example of what students can do when they want to succed. I personally have met people that have strugale every moment in their lives, but never give up, and at the end, they enjoyed the fruit of their hard work. Any problem in life should be make us stroger, not weaker. Khadijah is a very good example in this aspect.A long time ago I met a lady who’s mother abandonded her and her brothers. She was just 12 years old when she had to rase her brothers and sisters, and take care of her drunk father. She never give up. She worked the night shift and went to school in the afternoons, after leaving her brothers and sisters in the school.Now she is a happy married woman, a professional that works in a school helpping students to take their education serously. People like this is worth to meet and work with them.
I belive that no matter your background you can succede if you just try. As long as you have the will to keep going you can. Khadijah is an excellent example of this.
Thank you Sophie for your nice words. What you said about the background is true. No matter what circunstances someone is, if the person doesn’t try, then that person is not going to succed. In this days, having money does not warranty succes. I certainlly believe Khadijah is an excelent example of a person whowants to succed, and not just her, her mother also who show her with her example not to give up. It is admirable how someone can have such a strong spirit to keep fighting against any opposition. People like Khadijah make us think that their is no impossibles when someone wants to progress in life. As she omce said ” circunstances in life have taught her that education and knowledge, unlike many things, cannot be taken from you by educating”, and that’s true. I just hope and truly believe that ther are more Khadijah’s in this world, children that under difficult circunstances are making their way in this life. I, like others, wish Khadijah the best in Harvard, and to accomplish her goals; to graduate from law school, earn a doctorate in education, build a profession advocating for the under educated, and buy a house for her mom and sister. Good luck and best wishes.
i think that in general any person have awill in his thing he want to do surely he will succed in what he is doing and here come the ability of aperson and how much he will give he will take as kadiga really she was an hope person infront her troubles and i wich i can be like her really and achieve what i want in life at last i wana say that i wich that you had enjoyed my letter and take it in aserious way
I love the fact that a lot of people just dont give up on what they love to do. They are real role models to the nation. Especially to those who belittle themselves. Their self-esteem will grow as they hear very inspiring stories such as Khadijahs. Very smart young lady, rather, a blessing.